Twitter Announces SilverTwits

4/1/11: PR Newswire, San Francisco, CA:

Twitter is pleased to announce an innovative new product, the SilverTwits Physical Silver Real Time Monitored Internet Streaming Technology Synergies closed end fund, ticker: HYPE.   The fund will hold physical silver bullion, easily redeemable for actual silver in convenient Twitter-sized 140 ounce units.  Twitter has contracted to store the silver at the former site of the Alcatraz prison, just off the coast of their home office in San Francisco.  “This will allow us to easily monitor the silver, as we can see The Rock from our coffee room.  I don’t even have to get off of my yoga ball, I just pick up my binoculars,”  said SilverTwits Custodian, Harry Dooker.

Additionally, Twitter will leverage its West Coast technology partnerships to launch an Iphone app – IVault – which will provide a live video feed of the SilverTwits silver vault at Alcatraz.  Twitter is also evaluating the possibility of a future joint venture with Groupon for discounts on bulk silver purchases, and will also be rolling out a Netflix Streaming version of IVault in the 3rd quarter of 2011.

Custodian Harry Dooker explained:  “HYPE will be the first physical silver trust domiciled domestically in a former prison, and our cutting edge technology will alleviate any concerns our customers may have about the status of the silver.  We will also be able to eliminate audit expenses – who needs an auditor if we have a live video stream from inside the vault?  Furthermore, what’s more secure than Alcatraz?”

Mr. Dooker continued: “The archived vault video feed will be stored on Amazon.com’s cloud network, and we will also partner with Amazon to handle delivery of the HYPE 140 ounce unit redemptions. Twitter has formed a joint venture with Amazon to leverage the Amazon PRIME platform and guarantee free 2-day shipping of all HYPE physical redemptions via Amazon’s fulfillment system,”  Mr. Dooker elaborated, excitedly.

When asked what his qualifications were as the Custodian of the HYPE Silver Trust, Mr. Dooker explained that he had been the custodian in charge of cleaning the hallway floors and bathrooms at the Twitter corporate offices since late 2008.  He also has extensive experience refilling empty paper towel dispensers and changing water coolers.  Prior to joining Twitter, Mr. Dooker worked for 28 years in the San Francisco public school system as a custodian.

Twitter plans to release all press releases related to HYPE in easy to read Twitter-length 140 character segments.

HYPE will begin trading on April 31st, 2011.

 

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