Stocks Have Not Bottomed Yet – Here’s Why

You think things are bad?   You think things can’t get worse?

Let me tell you something, kids – the crapstorm going on in Europe is NOTHING compared to the plague that MTV is about to unleash on us.   You think that 86% unemployment* amongst Spanish youth is bad?   You think austerity is hard?   You’re worried about the Acropalypse in Greece?   Forget all of that.  We have bigger problems on our hands stateside:

SNOOKI IS PREGNANT!

Never mind the Hindenburg Omen, the Death Cross, or all of the other technical indicators you’ve heard about.   Don’t occupy yourself with the Facebook IPO ($FB- no positions)  alienating retail investors, or the fact that JP Morgan ($JPM – no positions) will lose a handful (or two)  of billions of dollars on their London Whale trade – that’s not what has me worried.  We know things are still getting worse when we have this June 21st disaster to look forward to – the debut of the Snooki and Jwoww show on MTV.

Save us...

The good news is that the confluence of the Snooki show and the summer solstice may provide the perfect storm to get a real bottom put in place in this market – something we can work off of going forward.   Also, of course, keep in mind the “Sell the rumors, buy the news” mentality:  don’t be tempted to SELL the premiere of this hot mess of a show:  it will already be priced in by then.  Unless, of course, Snooki and Jwoww exceed expectations for the amount of suckitude they are going to display…

-KD

full disclosure:  I am watching the Pauly D show on MTV…

secondary disclosure:  I am not suggesting that anyone actually trade off of the Snooki/Jwoww indicator, unless your plan is to use Jwoww’s absurd facial reconstruction to find good plastic surgery related companies to invest in.

 

*  not intended to be a factual data point

 

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