Like Trying To Have Sex in Quicksand?

When I was growing up my buddy Dave had a water bed.   Now, kids, you’re not going to believe this, but a “water bed” was* actually a giant inflatable bladder filled with water that you slept on.  It seemed like it would be cool for about 15 minutes, and then it would be the most annoying “mattress” ever – shifting with waves every time you move.  But that’s just my guess: I’ve never had a waterbed.

I’ve also never had a memory foam mattress, although I have used a memory foam pillow for about the last 10 years.   Today’s offering comes to us from Barron’s, regarding the, um, “problems” with memory foam mattresses.  Hint: the article, a feature piece,  is titled “Sex or Sleep?

“Something surprising is going on in the American bedroom. In droves, people are outfitting their beds with a plush, squishy, and decidedly controversial type of mattress. While these products support the body just-so during sleep, they distress some people during sex. The complaint is lack of “traction,” if you get the drift. “It’s like trying to do it in quicksand,” one owner writes on an Internet message board. New York sex therapist Sari Eckler Cooper couldn’t be clearer: “There’s a lack of resistance for the knees and feet. And whoever is on the bottom is sinking into the bed.”

I must be a total square, because I have never had sex in quicksand, but the image is an intriguing one.

I think Barron’s wants to throw their hat into the “Dear Penthouse? Or the NY Times?” ring, which I haven’t featured lately on my blog.  Try this snippet on for size:

“Well, it was absolutely an issue for Kim Browne of Simi Valley, Calif., when her Tempur-Pedic memory-foam bed arrived seven years ago. “My boyfriend and I were laughing the first time we had sex on the bed,” Browne, a 44-year-old office manager, wrote to Barron’s in an e-mail. “We couldn’t move around as easily. I got stuck in a divot, and he couldn’t get traction on his knees. We ended up on the floor, thinking we were never going to be able to have sex in the bed again.”

Thanks, Kim – maybe a bit too much information though?  Don’t worry about Kim, though, dear readers:

“Within a month, however, she says they got the hang of it — and in fact began to like it. “Just think of this little extra challenge as an additional benefit of the bed,” she wrote.”

related: Barron’s:  Sex or Sleep?

-KD

disclosure: no positions in $ZZ, $TPX, $SCSS

* Water beds are extinct, right?  They must be…

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