Heavy Dooty Blowout Championship!

While we’re on the topic of “are you friggin’ kidding me with that advertisement?”  Check out this Luvs diaper ad:

 

Really?  Babies on stage competing to take the biggest blowout dump that still gets contained by the diaper?  The BLOWOUT CHAMPIONSHIP?   WTF!?!??!

Let’s dissect this one:  first, the baby at the :05 second mark in the video.  I’m going to assume it’s a “he”  because, after all, girls don’t poop.   So he steps up to the championship dump stage, limbers up, stretches his arms, and WHOOMP THERE IT IS!   Will any of us be able to think of Tag Team’s classic beats the same way ever again?    The judges are clearly racist though – I think this baby was supposed to be a sumo warrior or something – so they give him bad scores for some unclear reason.

Next, at the :13 second mark, a baby who looks like a young Eminem steps up.   He unceremoniously does a 180 degree jump spin and pounds out, well, he pounds out a huge dump.   He gets better scores from the judges – for reasons that still remain unclear.  After all, thus far, neither baby has pulled an Uta Pippig* and had anything running down his leg.

Finally, at the :19 second mark, a third baby steps up, waves to the crowd, does a kinda “Front Most Muscular” pose (or maybe he was straining?)  then spins around and unleashes his fury.  He gets perfect 10’s from all three judges!   I guess it must have been that he had the biggest yet best contained “heavy dooty.”   Actually, yes, now that I look back on it in frame by frame viewing, the third baby must have earned high marks for his massive crap volume.

The more time you spend dissecting this commercial, the more disturbing it is.   The expressions on the other babies’ faces… The way Baby #2 gets lifted off the ground when he WHOOMPs…The fact that the judges are clearly on drugs…  Overall, a true gem.

Who are the ad wizards that came up with this one?

 

This post is dedicated to The Big Show, who just had a baby girl and now has Heavy Dooty Blowout Protection as his new reality.

-KD

* note: if you’re too young to remember marathoner Uta Pippig, just type “Uta Pippig” into Google and observe how it autofills:

 

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