How To Get Dumped on Valentine’s Day

I was pumped today when, in the midst of a blizzard, Fex Ed ($FDX: no positions) pulled into my driveway and delivered a package from Katz’s Deli in NYC.   I unwrapped it eagerly, curious as to who sent me this bonanza of pastrami and cheesecake, and it turns out that it was from my wife: a Valentine’s Day gift that arrived a day early.   Katz’s is probably the thing I miss most about New York City, but thanks to 21st century logistics:  boom – straight to my door.

Anyway, I did a little bit better than my usual in terms of a gift for her this year:

but I have to admit it’s nowhere near as good as Katz’s.

Of course, I could completely blow it by taking advantage of Yahoo ($YHOO: no positions) Email’s new “autocompose” Valentine feature.  I noticed a little red heart on my sidebar:

yahoo_auto

so of course I clicked it.  It gives you the option to choose from “crazy in love,” “friendly in love” or “all outta love” and insta-composes a few-sentence Valentine’s Day email for you! How sweet!  Some examples (red squiggles are because Firefox spellchecker didn’t like Yahoo’s compositions):

Crazy in love:

yhoo_crazyinlove

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

yhoo_crazy_4

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

yhoo_crazy_3

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

yhoo_crazy_2

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Friendly in love:

yhoo_friendly_3

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

yhoo_friendly_2

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

yhoo_friendly

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

All Outta love:

yhoo_outtalove3

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

yhoo_outtalove2

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

yhoo_outtalove

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

I was going to file this under “Signs of the Apocalypse”…  The funny thing is that I bet Google ($GOOG – no positions) could actually enact this feature in a way that would write better Valentines than we can write ourselves…

-KD

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