Disaster Averted

Phew… The doormen of New York City, who actually have their own union, narrowly averted going on strike last night.  The NY Times tells us how bad the consequences of such a strike could have been:
“If the doormen and other service workers had gone on strike, residents of the affected buildings would have had to perform their own chores, like sorting mail, screening visitors, hauling garbage out to the curb and operating elevators.”
NOOOOOOO!!!! THE HORRRRRROR!  Sorting mail?  Are you out of your mind?  OPERATING MY OWN ELEVATOR?!?!?!  DYKWTFIA?!?!?
I actually talked to a buddy of mine last night who told me about this potential strike.  He said “Dude – if the doormen strike there will be chaos – we’ll have to haul our own trash to the curb.”   
“Umm, bro,”  I responded, “hauling your trash to the curb isn’t quite the definition of chaos.”
Not to worry – there would have been rent-a-cop security in place, which is the only real concern.
There are some more gems in the article, like this:
“In the hours before the strike deadline, others were dreading a disruption in the don’t-do-it-yourself lifestyle of calling the super and ordering in Chinese that is particular to urban apartment dwellers. 
“It would definitely be a big inconvenience,” said Nicole Auerbach, 36, who lives on West End Avenue. “Our doormen told me probably 50 percent of the people in our building have takeout delivered on any given night.””
oy vey.  Look – I’m fine with taking my trash to the curb and operating the elevator, but if you infringe upon my right to get Chinese takeout delivered, you will feel my wrath.  It is absolutely positively insane to think that the Chinese takeout man might have to call me from his cell phone from outside my building and that I might have to come down and get it at the curb from him.    Do we look like animals to you?  We are CIVILIZED human beings – and civilized human beings have their Chinese takeout delivered directly to their apartment doors.

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