An “Entry Level” Toilet

So the wife and I went to look for a new Toto toilet today. We had a little incident this past weekend where one of our guests clogged the toilet, and unbeknownst to them, the tank had an issue where it runs occasionally.  So, lo and behold, 15 minutes later (at 11:30pm – thankfully we were still up to immediately rectify the problem), we got a shower of water in the kitchen, below the bathroom.  Coulda been much worse overall – the water overflowing was clean, not poopy, and the water found a path in a ceiling joint, so the entire ceiling didn’t cave in.  Anyway, we needed a new flushing mechanism, but the toilet bowl had a crack in it also, so we just decided to replace the entire toilet.

After a waste of time dealing with the useless f*cktards at Lowes, we went to the Kohler showroom nearby in downtown Concord, where our hostess was fairly helpful in describing the different options available.  I didn’t want to get too semantic with her, but I had to press her with more details when she described one toilet as “entry level.”

“Now, when you say “entry level,” are you referring to the quality of the, how do I say this – flush?”  I inquired politely

“No, absolutely not.  This is a Class Five toilet.”  She waited for me to ooooh and ahhhhh.  I know what Class Five rapids are, but Class Five toilet? Is that good? (EDIT: from Kohler’s Website, courtesy of Mrs. Dynamite: “Inspired by the raw power of whitewater rapids”!)

“Look, all I want to know is if it can flush a dozen golf balls,” I cut to the chase.

“Pretty much – yes – this is a great toilet,” she replied.  Hey, I try to be an educated consumer, so I pressed her:

“Ok, so when you say “entry level,” you don’t mean that it’s any less sufficient/efficient/excellent when it comes to flushing “stuff” (I made air quotes) – just that it doesn’t have fancy crown molding and stuff like that?”

“Exactly,” she kinda laughed uncomfortably, as my wife shook her head at me.

“Cause all I really care about is that the poop goes away when I flush it,” I continued, working my toilet-humor bit.

She simply nodded.  My wife kicked me and apologized.  I felt like Peter Griffin



ps – we ended up getting a “higher level” toilet – but it’s still a Class Five flusher

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